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Thursday, May 8, 2008

Born Brave


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

BUBBLE IN THE BATH TUB

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, Lets start with the boys first.

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John.

Yes next.

Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.

Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next.

This continues...

and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.

Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.

Anyway, now the girls please.

First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds.

Teacher: Good. At last I got something different.

Ok next.

Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.

Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next.

You sweet girl; Yes you...

Most beautiful girl of the class:

Mam, my name is BUBBLE, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.

Legal and Logical

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as it is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

A Beer before it starts...

Fish on Fridays

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the male therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go for fishing.'

Kya aap married hain?

Tufani Barish
Aadhi raat
Ramlal Pizza Hut pe pizza lene aya
Waiter: Kya aap married hain?
Ramlal: Kutte, aisi tufani barish main kaunsi maa bete ko pizza lene bhejegi?

Santa Banta Special 1

Santa talking on cell.
Banta: kis se baat kar raho ho. Santa: biwi se.....
Banta: itne... pyar se....?
Santa: tumhari hai. . .!!!


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Santa- yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
Banta- Gold ring de de
Santa- koi badi cheez bata
Banta- M.R.F ka tyre de de. .

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Santa at bar in NewYork.
Man on his right says"Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says"Peter Scotch single"
Santa says:-
"Santa Singh Married!"...!

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A donkey kicked Santa & ran away.
Santa ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

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Santa: oye tera viah ho gaya?
Banta: haan.
Santa: kuri naal?
Banta: oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: haan, meri behen da hoya si....!

INDIAN MOM

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl room mate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar.

But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Kumar



Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow...

Love,
Mom.

Corporate lesson : Donkeys

Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys.

Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B.

Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than the other. It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.

Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective of the washerman's presence. After a period of time, Washerman started pressurising Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A. But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman. It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here, why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed ".

That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also.


Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised and he started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell
down hopelessly.

Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supremo and happily started carrying more load with great speed. But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast. For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain. But washerman expected more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load... Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best... But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction. Finally the day came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A and went for searching some other Donkeys.

Its an endless story..........

But the moral of the Story in Corporate and social life is......,

"Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is capable.... Always Share the Load equally..... Don't ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try for getting over-credit...

Don't feel happy when ur colleague is under pressure.. "

It doesn't matter if u r A or B, for the Boss u shall be always DONKEY

And most importantly, Never Work Hard, Work Cleverly..... "Success is a journey not a destination"

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